The honeymoon was over after just five days. Greg’s dad, John, had been a peach since his arrival at the Alzheimer’s facility. Then he stopped sleeping and all hell broke loose. The relief the family experienced was very short –lived and probably quite naive on all our parts.

What I’m learning about this vile disease is that unpredictability is its middle name. We were all finally exhaling after the roller coaster of the last few months, when the home called and said John had been doing things that were unacceptable. He, an engineer by profession, had managed to completely disassemble his bed, along with the clock radio by his bed. He had also decided to go visiting the other folks who live there at 4 am for several nights strait. Sleeplessness does strange things to us folks not suffering from Alzheimer’s; in Alzheimer’s patients it’s that strangeness on steroids. It exacerbates all the symptoms of which ever stage of the disease the person is in at that moment. The phone calls at all hours from the home and Greg’s mom resumed, the feeling of helplessness creeping up from our toes, until we felt like we were swimming in quickly-hardening cement.

Fast forward a few sleepless days and nights. John took a fall. Not a very serious one, but serious enough to land him in the hospital, where the doctors will be keeping him for a while, maybe even weeks, to try and find the right cocktail to help him sleep and function at his best. We have also learned from the experts that this combination may/ hopefully will work, for a while, and then the wild behavior will return, manifesting perhaps from a different part of John’s past and personality. He loved to ski as a young man. I hope he doesn’t try to slalom down the stairs or the roof. We just don’t and can’t know exactly what will happen next.

Greg and I are grateful for those few days of reprieve, as now we feel like we are on constant vigil, waiting, waiting for something we can’t name or imagine. What I know in my heart is I would never wish this disease or our family’s journey on my worst enemy. I hope a cure is found before our generation starts falling.

Being punished isn’t enjoyable while it is happening- it hurts! But afterwards we can see the result, a quiet growth in grace and character.

                    Hebrews 12:11

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The update on my Father-in-law:

My Father-in-law went to his new home this past weekend; his last home. Greg’s mom packed up his clothes and a few personal things and bought him a television for his room. He seemed  happy to be there. He has not asked to leave or go “home,” yet. He has made new friends with two ladies and a gentleman at the home, and the two ladies love to sit and listen to John’s stories of the Korean War. Sadly, none of the three of them remember what was said, so to his audience John’s stories will always be new adventures.

After the emotionally draining day, Greg slept better that night than he has in months, so did his mom. She no longer has to worry about John getting up in the night and bringing all the power tools from the garage into the bedroom, or taking the VCR apart. The grieving, for anyone, has not set in yet. It seems like John’s just on vacation and he will return home after a nice rest. Greg’s mom can’t really comprehend that he will never come back. Could anyone after being married to the same person for fifty-three years?

I am happy for him, and happy in his happy in his new home. He can sleep as late as he wants and have breakfast at noon, if he so desires. His new home is beautiful and bright and spotless, with cheerful fabircs on the furniture and beautiful views of Puget Sound. The folks that run the facility seem more like walking saints than flesh and blood humans, they have been so kind and understanding and helpful.

My heart is grateful such a lovely place with such nice people, two blocks from his old house, existed, and that they had one spot available. It all fit together so effortlessly. I am most grateful to the Universe for these blessings.

 What matters is the sense of giving thanks and praise, the feeling of a humble and grateful heart.
Oliver Sacks

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